A simple question can make a big difference

This week we had a lot of discussion and activities about mental health leading up to R U OK day.

It is more than just the question; it is a reminder of how vital it is to stay connected with those around us, especially friends or loved ones who seem “off” or not quite themselves. Early, caring conversations can prevent small struggles from growing into crises. Research shows that 90% of people who’re regularly asked, “Are you OK?” feel more supported, connected, and cared for. By encouraging real, vulnerable conversations, we let the people we love know that they don’t have to suffer alone.

Here are the four simple steps that guide a meaningful R U OK? conversation:

1      Ask

Approach with genuine concern, make sure the environment is suitable (not too crowded), and you can devote time to the conversation. You might say something like, “You’ve been quieter lately… are you OK?”

2      Listen with an open mind

Let them speak without interruption. Be patient. Reflect back what you’ve heard to show understanding. For example, “It sounds like you’ve been feeling really overwhelmed... 

3      Encourage action

Ask gentle, supportive questions like, “What normally helps when you feel like this?” or “What can I do to help?” If they’ve been feeling low for more than two weeks, suggest seeing a health professional and offer to help connect them with one. 

4      Check in

Follow up! Put a reminder in your phone to reach out again in a few days or weeks. A simple message like, “I’ve been thinking of you—how are you doing?” can mean the world. It shows you’ve been there and continue to care. 

R U OK? Day is a good reminder that every day is a good day to ask someone how they are really feeling. By asking, listening, encouraging action, and checking in, we can each play a part in supporting those we love through life's ups and downs. It only takes a moment to ask—but it could truly change a life.

Fiona Harris
School Psychologist | Clinical Psychologist